My Apartment smells like Applesauce...

...Because yet another worthless, thoughtless waste of skin, bones and internal organs decided they didn't have to do their job and clean up the courtyard at my friggin' apartment. The apple tree has been dropping it's fruit since well before June...and the lawn care people haven't mowed since. Rotting apples adorn the lawn next to squirrel and dog feces, and I'm sick of looking at it. *sigh*

That intro should be a forewarning to all of you that this special edition mid-month ZCCNL is nothing more then an outlet for me to vent my frustrations out from the happenings of the past few weeks. Sit back, grab a snack and prepare to read some of the most sarcastic, meaningless drivel ever written by yours truly.

Most of you know that my Blazer was booted while parked at the BSU Stadium (where I was told I COULD park mind you)two weeks ago. I was given two tickets, one for a $50 Impound Fee, another parking violation for $25. My boss at the stadium gave me $80 to go square away the tickets and get the boot off my car. Inside the parking office, I handed the employee my tickets and money. She replied "Actually in order to get the boot removed, you must pay off all your past parking tickets totalling...$240." I snapped, throwing the $80 at her yelling that I didn't have that money, and if I didn't get to work soon they wouldn't be getting any money whatsoever." She refused to look at me for the rest of the time, as she typed up a payment agreement for me to sign...although I had to cough up another $40 to make the deal work. As I was cooling down, I complained that I didn't even deserve the tickets in the first place since I was told I could park there. Another worker poked her head from around the corner and in a snide tone asked me just WHO told me I could park there. I told her I was an employee of the Marching Band and the director gave me permission to park there for the two hours a day that I was required to attend. She told me that "I needed to tell Dave Wells that he can't be telling people where and where not to park", when my anger once again exploded forth like so many a half-digested chalupa meal. "Do I work here?" I bellowed, blind to the anti-hostility sign by the entrance, "You get on the phone and call him yourself!" She retreated into her cubicle, adorned with the pictures of her children that looked like they were at ground Zero at the Hiroshima Bombing (Ugly as sin if you understand the vernacular). The first employee finished my payment agreement, I paid the money and left. At lunch, while eating my Chaulpa Meal (hey, I just mentioned a Chalupa meal...and yes the analogy I included above is very true), I finally decided to resurrect my old Blue Blazer...enblazon it with a Captain America sigil (stealing Greg Sasser's original idea of course) and enact some old fashioned vigilante justice upon the streets of downtown Boise. No longer will I be plagued by jaywalkers, idiot drivers who cut me off and Boise State Parking Nazis and their asinine tickets. 'Lady Liberty' (I didn't want to steal your idea 100% Greg...Old Justice is safe from my plagerism) would stand up to whatever they could throw at me....and then some. If this plan does not come to fruition, I shall have to resort to the old 'dog poo in a flaming bag' trick and watch the hags in the parking office put it out in their Birkenstocks...and from the looks of things, they could use a freaking walk outside the comforting walls of their worthless jobs anyways.

Alright, I feel slightly better about this now that I've vented. Also, thanks to Mary who gave me transportation during this mess and was nice enough to buy me lunch.

My faith in human beings has slipped below the 'semi-tolerable' mark, and therefore don't be surprised of you see a masked vigilante weilding a baseball bat, getting out of a blue and white Blazer bearing the stars and stripes, bashing in the front windshield of the car in front of me going 25 in a 40 mph zone.

This ends the broadcast of the mid-month special edition of ZCCNL. I'll see you in roughly 15 days now. You have been warned*.

This is Zach saying "Don't add my to your block list."


*The above warning stems from the next addition of the ZCCNL, as well as if you happen to be going 25 in a 40mph zone and see Lady Liberty in your rear view mirror. Let slip the dogs of War!!!!! BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!!!!!! (Although I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin'....but I think 'Vehicle' is a sweet song....some of you will hopefully get those two jokes rolled up into one poorly executed one.)