"Gentlemen.....Behold!!!!!!"

I realize it is a few days before the months end, but the month of May basically ends with a long weekend so I figgure I'd send out the ZCCNL early. Congratulations, it's a boy.

Disclaimer: Since the preepmtion of the ZCCNL in April due to my 'well of creativity running bone dry', I return to May with the well overflowing once again. This makes for an extemely long ZCCNL....and I suggest taking restroom and meal breaks at least every 20 minutes....

I will forgo the typical hellos and salutations this month and dive headfirst into my immature writings....keeping my fingers busy on the keyboard, since idle hands spend time on the genitals and we all know how much God hates that...

The past month has been ripe with do-nothingness and following the same old routine of 'wake up, go to work, alcohol binge, sleep' and get up to do it all again the next day. There has been nothing new happening recently, save for the night I spent with Sevendust, and the fact that I am now the sole resident of the middle section of my apartment! A party must be in order! No longer shall I be plagued by being woken up early (read: early is by my definition; anything before 12:03pm) by the damnable yapper dog downstairs, and neither shall I be upset by the taper-oo-ing by the blunt end of a broom as I indulge in Disturbed and the aforementioned Sevendust at 800 decibels. Jesus himself prophisied that a party must come to pass (It's somewhere in the back of 'Proverbs') and I really don't want to piss off the king of kings and lord of lords. So keep checking your email and messaging systems, because I need to throw a shindig soon, before an elderly couple moves into one of the three vacancies surrounding my abode.

For those of you who have been fortunate enough to receive the ZCCNL since the end of last year, you all know of my undying hatred for hippies. I finally struck back at them on behalf of all of us upstanding citizens last week when I was asked for some spare change by a group of them and their malnourished dog (whom I felt more pity for then it's human abusers). I was well on my way down inebriated highway, so I told them very loudly and slurredly to get a job.I wish I had've had the foresight to stop and explain mu openended order in depth...Why should I contribute to their laziness when all they contribute to my society is crowding the already bottlenecked sidewalks, putting forth a stench so bad it makes Sloth from the Goonies smell like rosebuds and grandma's homemade dumpling dinner in comparison, and of course the insessent drum circles in the park (Clayton and Travis: we need to grab some marching drums and 'join in the circle'...bwah hahahahahahaha!). I don't ask for the hemp lovers to compromise their beliefs, however is it too much to ask for them to wash their feet every once in awhile? I mean for God's sake, Jesus washed his disciples' feet, do the hippies think they are too good for Jesus? I will end this rant by starting a new one:

"Selling Out"

Oh God how I hate this phrase. I don't believe in it. Selling out is merely a term used by those people who are unsatisfied with their favorite sports/ music/ etc. all star's ventures. It is a copout, pure and simple. Don't agree? I really don't care.

Consider this:

Do you have a job? Do you get paid for your job? Do you ever get tired of your current job and wish for a better one to make some more money? Well my friend, YOU ARE SELLING OUT!!!! That's right, if you want to make more money at what you're doing you are a sellout by definition.

Hypothertical situation:

You work as a burger flipper. You hate being a burger flipper, and vie for a managerial position making more money. YOU ARE SELLING OUT!!!!!

I am mainly a music guy so I'll use that for my examples. If you are in a successful band you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's a no win situation. You can continue down your musical path and be pigeonholed and be swept into a genre that cannot be new and exciting, or you can change things up a bit, MAKE things fresh and exciting and be labeled a sellout. The love of making music or playing sports is really only partially what makes an althlete or musician do what they do. The other half is THEIR NEED TO MAKE MONEY IN ORDER TO SURVIVE LIKE YOU OR I DO. Face facts here, you damn well know if you were offered $100 to shill tasteless happy tarts or snackey smores you'd jump at the chance. Using the term 'selling out' is about as asinine as saying a bass guitar player sucks because he uses a pick.

I apologize for being preachy (wait...not I don't, screw you all....ha ha just kidding....sort of). If you disagree with my arguments, feel free to respond and perhaps I'll include an editorial in next month's ZCCNL. But I'll probably just end up wiriting about midgets and public sexual acts I see in bars.

This is Zach once again saying "Please don't add me to your block list."

Remeber, go to http://downiesroolyou.blogspot.com/ to read the ZCCNL anytime, anyplace!